Chapter 2 | The arranged matrimony

“If I get married, I want to be very married.” - Audrey Hepburn

My parents marriage was an arranged one.

Whilst both of them came from modern families, they had discovered spirituality in their youth.

Mama was 20 when she married, Dad 27. There was a 7 year age gap between them and though it might seem like not that many years in comparison to Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) and his wife Aisha (RA) it made for a detrimental difference in my parents marriage.

Whilst Mama's other siblings had taken to finding their own partners, she had chosen to go the 'respectable' way.

Hearing her tell the story, it certainly sounds like she was destined for Dad.

She a 'Durbanite', He a 'Joburger'.

Approximately 600 miles separated them and they had no idea that either existed until the day my father came to see her.

He liked her. Despite the fact that she had only asked him two questions.

1. Are you an Alim?

Him: 'No.'

2. Are you a Hafiz?

Him: 'No.'

My mother had only two requirements in a spouse. That he be an Alim or a hafiz.
Everything other than that, was by the way.

Now, considering the above scenario, you would probably be wondering what was it that convinced my mother to say yes.

Well she didn't.

Even, till this day, she still hasn't.

You see, my mother had walked out of that room with the intention of refusing my fathers proposal.

He was none of what she wanted.

So she had made up her mind, only to be swayed by the opinion of my grandmother.

Enter my Nani.

Then, a thin, just above average height woman, with gaunt cheeks, head scarf tied to the back of her neck and a cigarette protruding from between her index and middle finger.

My mother's 'husband list' was her claim to sainthood in comparison to my Nani's.

Nani wanted a Surtee boy.

That my father spoke Gujrati with proficiency was enough to leave my Nani swaying in elation.

Finally, she was to have the son-in-law she could walk the streets with.

 If only she had known then, that he was some parts kanam too, I bet she would have lifted her petticoat and ran as fast as her tobacco filled lungs would have allowed.

So when the phone call came to find out whether my mother was in approval my Nani chose to respond with:

'She has her periods so she can't make istikhaara now (this much was true). However, we are very much interested.'

'We' being, just her.