12/06/2004
Dear God
I’ve been so busy trying to organize my life that I’ve
barely had time to study. Ok, I admit I don’t ordinarily study but it’s close
to half term and I’m SUPPOSE to be studying.
I’m sitting in the car waiting for my mum as I write
this. Recently Za (Short for Zahra) and I had a huge fight (this being after
the whole ‘letter’ incident’).
Apparently people were telling her that she should
terminate our friendship reason being: I wasn’t there for her when she needed
me most. I didn’t hate her for this. If anything, I understood where she was
coming from. What hurt was the fact that she listened to what everybody else
had to say instead of forming her own opinion on the matter.
I actually overheard Appa Sumayya say to her: ‘Maybe you
should get new friends and no longer confide in her.’ We were ALL in the wrong,
what made me the enemy?
What the hell? Appa Sumayya is as close with me as she is
with Za. Or so I thought
There was a confrontational blow-out in the car (right in
front of Uncle Gul’s) she said some hurtful things and I retaliated (well, my
version of a retaliation at least). It was humiliating, I couldn’t believe she
had an outburst like that in the midst of her dad.
Uncle Gul’s hadn’t tried to intervene or stop us from
arguing. If it was Papa, he would have turned around and slapped us both, his
other hand steering the car as if undeterred by the doings of its counterpart.
Anyways, I got home all worked up. Mama knew about the
drama but she assumed the role of a supportive parent and chose not to
interfere.
I despised confrontations. Of all the things that induced fear, it was the thing I was most afraid of. With Papa, confrontation meant prolonged minutes (that felt like hours) of silence. I don’t even think Nelson Mandela’s death would be cause for that many a ‘moments of silence’, even if all those moments were amassed and contained in a jar specifically allocated for its containment.
Anyways, Za called that evening. I was mildly surprised,
considering all that she had said to me in a fit of rage. We spoke our minds,
clarifications were dealt with and eventually we waved the white flag mutually.
I’ve never really had a friend who I was close to as I was with Za, Neither did
I have a confrontation that boded well. In this case though, it seemed that Za
and I were destined to be friends and in that, a lesson in forgiveness.
Just a heads up (in case you had forgotten) it’s my
birthday in six days’ time.
Speak soon
Love: Me
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